Gregrey.com

Senior Discount

I stopped into Noah's Bagels for a dozen. As we concluded the transaction the youthful counter person asked, "Are you by chance over 55 because if so, I can offer you a senior discount of 10%?" I'm not often speechless but I felt massive waves of conflict coursing through my body.

I come from a long line of cheapskates. My mother collected aluminum cans and turned them in for half a cent a piece well into her 70s. My father once famously saw a shiny dime in the urinal he was using and retrieved it. The prospect of paying something less than $18 for a dozen bagels was thrilling. I would have clipped a coupon or said the magic word if I thought that could get me a 10% discount. But I was only required to stand there and look old.

The conflict came from the other side of my brain that was just angry and being profiled as an old guy. Do I really look 55? How come my wife (who buys most of the bagels) has never been offered this discount. How come no one I know has ever been offered this discount.

Never before have I been so thrilled and so angry at the same time.

April 17, 2024