Kevin & Mary's Wedding

Shhh! It's a surprise wedding. While some of us were in on the surprise, most were not. The couple invited their best friends in life to celebrate what they thought would be a joint Bachelor/Bachelorette party in Phoenix, AZ. The friends arrived on a Friday and began a series of joint activities. On Saturday after a choice of a hike or hitting some golf balls, they were divided up into teams to start an Amazing Race.

The teams had to solve puzzles and do stunts and race against other teams to the finish line. The five hour long race worked through the Phoenix sites having to solve puzzles or perform challenges at every station. The race ended up up in Surprise, Arizona. When they got to the finish line they were surprised to find Kevin and Mary dressed as bride and groom and surrounded by their family. This wasn't a Bachelor/Bachelorette party...it was a surprise wedding! Kevin M. Harris married Mary K. Hanley on March 2, 2024.

More Photos from the Wedding Weekend

Registry

The Best Man Speech by Aric DiLalla

Good evening, everyone. My name is Aric DiLalla. I’m Kevin’s college roommate.

For those of you who don’t know, before they settled on a surprise wedding, one of Kevin and Mary’s other ideas to celebrate was a series of dinner parties across the country where you could join them in the city of your choice. It was the only idea weirder than this.

So, I’m grateful to even have the chance to talk to you tonight and to be here with you.

I’ve been thinking about this speech since the moment Kevin spoke as the best man at my wedding. He was kind and very funny — it was everything I hoped it to be.

And in that moment, as I stood next to my beautiful wife and looked out at my best friend giving a toast, I thought to myself “Damn it, Kevin.”

I knew immediately how difficult it would be to write a speech that compared to his. As recently as this morning, our friend Kyle said to me “A lot to live up to.”

For those of you who weren’t there, Kevin’s speech was based around the concept of reading text messages that I had sent him over the years. A massive invasion of privacy. I’m still considering legal action.

Kevin’s text messages aren’t nearly as interesting, and they often make very little sense. Kevin’s big on optimizing time, so things like articles and verbs are not always for him. I texted him when we landed last night, and he responded: “Daniel itching for activities. Today the chill night.” Those precious seconds he saves can be used for more activities.

So I decided to read other people’s messages instead.

Unfortunately, Kevin’s freshman year roommate Trevor Stoimenoff did not respond to repeated requests for comment, but here’s a sampling from just a few people I reached out to:

From Todd Adams, former Dean of Students at Northwestern:

“He is one of the best teachers I’ve had (yes, he very likely taught me more than I ever did for him). He has that rare ability to understand everyone’s point of view and bring people together.”

From his longtime friend Jordan:

“I love Kev’s care for those around him and his willingness to go out of his way to help his friends. And I love his ability to make anything more fun and exciting than it otherwise would be.”

From his dad, Greg: “His ability to squeeze the most out of life is quite impressive.”

He also said, “I like his work ethic. I don’t think anyone could accuse him of being lazy.”

Greg also has a good story about how much Kevin drools, if you want to find me later to hear that. It was a little gross for this setting.

From his mom, Eve: “He is always ready for an adventure and looks for the best in other people. You can count on him in times of need. He is thoughtful and sensitive…..most of the time.”

From his brother, Scott: “He’s a supportive person and looks out for me.” Scott also thanked Kevin for allowing him to be more mature by comparison.

From Kyle: “He always asks questions and genuinely listens - you always know he cares. Kev’s an all-around good dude I’m proud to call my friend.”

And now it’s my turn.

The tough thing about doing a speech for Kevin is that nothing I could say could ever be enough. He is a fiercely loyal friend who I make fun of and irritate and annoy — and care about immensely.

Kevin messaged me on Facebook months before we ever even enrolled at Northwestern, and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. We didn’t live together that first year, but we did for the next three years. We took trips to road football games, took 8 a.m. Spanish classes, rushed a fraternity together … and deactivated from a fraternity together. When I graduated, I posted a pic of Kev with the caption, “My most successful college relationship.” That really wasn’t a tough bar to clear, but Kevin has gone above and beyond again and again.

Since college, he’s only become more important to me. When I decided one night to plan my proposal to my wife, Kev was the first person I texted, and he stayed up as we planned. He’s offered unsolicited job postings and cover letter advice. It feels like too long if we go more than a couple months without seeing each other, and my wife can attest to the crazy ways in which the world brings us together — even in rural Alabama

Anyone who knows Kevin knows that he can be exasperating, but life without Kev would be far less exciting.

Enough about him.

Mary: you’re kind, patient, adventurous and have a wonderful sense of humor. And as much as I hate to admit it, this roommate pairing is even better than the one between me and Kev.

As you move forward, I hope Kevin listens more closely to your advice than I did this morning when you told us to double-check that we had dress socks. (Lift up pant leg to reveal athletic sock.)

I love you both, and I’m so happy you found each other.

To Kevin and Mary!

Father of the Groom Speech by Greg Harris

Hello, my name is Greg Harris. I’m Kevin’s father and I’m excited to see our family grow. We are also excited to add the Hanleys to the family.

The Harris and Dutton families both bring a strong heritage to this union as I’m sure the Hanleys bring. My goal tonight is to celebrate that heritage by sharing some generational wisdom from Kevin’s family. With a little luck, Kevin & Mary will see these small nuggets of advice that have been handed down over the years as building blocks that they can use to build their family.

STRONG WOMEN

Kevin comes from a family of very strong and independent women. I suspect that Mary can say the same thing.

Kevin’s great-grandmother Fayga was a college graduate and went on to work for a US Congressman. Both of Kevin’s grandmothers had successful careers. Kevin’s grandma Linda, who is here tonight, founded a school and served as its principal. Kevin’s grandma June was a successful author and book publisher.

Kevin knew his great-grandmother Vicky who we called Mimi. Mimi lived to the age of 100 and always had the same advice. She gave it to us every time we saw her. I’m sure if she were here tonight she would look you sternly int he eye and tell you to MIND HOW YOU GO. I trust you’ll take this advice to heart.

Both sets of Kevin’s grandparents met in high school just like Kevin & Mary did. In fact, many of Grandma June’s lifelong friends came from high school and college. June loved to cook and travel, but June really loved to entertain and they were never just average events. June believed in putting a bit of flair and class into every event. I’m confident she would approve of today’s event. I think June’s advice today would probably be to CHERISH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE and get together often. I think you two already got that memo.

In addition to being a school principal, Kevin’s grandmother Linda, was also a marriage and family counselor. A lot of experience went into Linda’s oft-repeated advice. Linda taught us to always ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

Being clear about your needs with your partner is good advice, but Kevin’s mother Eve will point out that it’s equally important to PLAN SURPRISES IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Well, I guess you both got the memo on surprises as well!

STRONG MEN

While Kevin comes from a long line of strong women, he also is the product of some impressive men. Both of Kevin’s grandfathers were public servants. Kevin’s grandfather Fred served in World War II and went on to work in politics. Kevin’s grandfather Jeff, here with us tonight, followed his army career by working for the State Department.

Kevin’s great-grandfather Alf lived to see Eve and me marry. Late in his life, after a few strokes it was very difficult for him to speak. But he sat us both down to share his marital advice. It took all of his concentration to put one sentence together. Instead of talking to both of us he looked me in the eye and said in no uncertain terms, ALWAYS TREAT HER WELL. Kevin, please accept this advice as well, and Mary, I guess you can do as you please.

Eve’s father, Fred had a busy career. He was a lawyer but in his spare time, he wrote opinion articles that caught the attention of California’s governor. That eventually led to a long career in politics. As busy as Fred was throughout his career, I know his advice would be to TAKE THE TIME TO STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES. It wasn’t clear he took his own advice, but I’m confident you won’t let your careers get in the way of enjoying your life.

My father Jeff was also one of my first employers. He taught me the importance of working hard, but he also taught me that work could and should be fun. Jeff didn’t smell a lot of roses either, but Jeff continues to find his work fun and I think Jeff’s advice (even though I didn’t ask him) will be to FIND CHALLENGES IN LIFE THAT ARE BOTH FUN AND REWARDING.

The Jewish side of Kevin’s family has what I call the “chutzpah gene.” Chutzpah is a confidence when there is absolutely no reason to be confident. Kevin has a bit of this gene and I think it’s generally a good thing, but sadly only in small doses. My advice is to keep that confidence in check and try to be MORE CURIOUS THAN CONFIDENT.

I remember when Eve’s brother Kit Dutton, here with us tonight, gave a toast at our wedding. Kit said in his toast that Eve’s family nickname was THE BOSS. I remember thinking, “You could have told me this a little sooner,” but I knew I was marrying a strong woman. I think Kevin may also have a tiny bit of the “bossy gene” as well and my advice to Mary is to please be patient with him and stand your ground.

Finally, I would like to conclude with a toast. Kevin’s great-grandfather Manny was the happiest person I ever knew. I never heard him complain about anything. He always loved a party and some have suggested that it might have been the cigars or the scotch, but I think he truly enjoyed socializing. I think Kevin might get some of his social skills from Manny.

Near the end of his life, at the age of 99, we celebrated Thanksgiving at my brother Ken’s house. Manny couldn’t have been happier. He was surrounded by his family and we were celebrating, but unfortunately at this point in his life, Manny’s memory wasn’t very good. His brain seemed to reset every few minutes. You could see him get overwhelmed with happiness every few minutes. As hard as memory loss is, it was fun to see him rediscover the power of family every minute or two.

He would literally burst with pride every few minutes and he was desperate to make a celebratory toast. Unfortunately, mid-toast Manny would forget who he was toasting and would simply say “Who’s the host?” This happened every few minutes.

Please raise a glass to toast our growing family. And in Manny’s memory please repeat after me, WHO’S THE HOST?!

Ken Harris Wrote a Poem

Congratulations Kevin and Mary

Getting married can be kind of scary

Living together In lots of weather

Just do not let your love ever tarry

You two really are very cute and fun

Adventure and games are always well done

Keep up the laughs

Limit the gaffs

Remember that you are both number one

While some may encourage a child real soon

Most can wait for gender reveal balloon

Enjoy each other Try not to smother

You so happy puts us over the moon

Surprised your friends but the family knew

Arizona was where you’d say I do

A great life ahead

Just don’t snore in bed

Congratulations we love both of you

Love, Uncle Ken and the Agoura Hillers.

Slide show of the Bride & Groom

Amazing Wedding Race Video

Here were a few of the submissions that the teams made during their Amazing Wedding Race.

March 2, 2024