Greg's Brush with the CIA

Dropped into Barnes and Noble over the weekend for a book or two. It was an off-hour and the store was relatively empty. Before heading to seek out the new paperback edition of the one Tom Clancy novel I haven't yet read, I headed to the Bargain Book section hoping to find a discounted hardbound version. No such luck. But, as I turned the corner, I was approached by an interesting looking gentleman.

I say "gentleman" because he was dressed in a light blue suit with a wide out-of-style tie. He was much shorter than I was, probably in his late 60s. He was thin and seemed "well kept" except for some radical mole hairs that were left unshaved. I wasn't sure of his nationality at first. Thought maybe he was Asian, but quickly determined that he was Hispanic.

Our paths had not crossed for more than 10 seconds when he said to me, "I wonder if there is a book about Bush killing Saddam Hussein yet?"

He spoke with a slight Spanish accent and must have had some teeth problems because the words were somewhat mumbled. As the question registered in my brain I gave my best fake smile and a quick chuckle hoping to escape. I lamely replied back, "That would be some fast publishing."

That's all my new friend needed. That was his opening to make a new friend. The fact that I was flying through the Bargain Book section, didn't intimidate him at all. He had a live one on the hook.

He started telling me his life story. I was polite at first calculating how best to escape without being rude, but ultimately became fascinated. The conversation ultimately spanned at least 12 minutes and included some of his life's most memorable moments acted out in the Bargain Book section of the Redwood City Barnes and Noble. My first thought was that this senior citizen had lost a few of his faculties, but the more I heard the more I believed his story. I don't know why I believed him, I just did.

His name is Robert Asso and he worked for the CIA through three administrations from Kennedy through Nixon. His assignments spanned a failed Castro assassination, efforts to destabilize Central American governments and even an exciting prison break where he killed three guards and scuttled across the border to escape. Robert also related a lunch he had with Richard Nixon during his retirement at San Clemente to reminisce about the good old days. Robert seemed disgusted with teams that came in after his term, and couldn't have been more frustrated by the death of 40 plus people to extract Panamanian dictator Noriega.

I was obviously doubtful that Robert's stories were based in reality. But at one point he demonstrated how he killed the prison guards. This small meek sounding man, transformed before my eyes and quickly mimed the movements he must have repeated dozens of times. There was a look in his eye as he demonstrated his killing technique. A certain twinkle in his eye. I just believed.

The stories were as fascinating as any book that I might have bought that day. I wanted to ask more questions. I wanted to buy him a cup of coffee. But time was not on my side this day. Too bad for Robert who would have loved to retell his life. Who needs Tom Clancy on paper, when Robert was here to tell me how it really happened.

I felt sorry for Robert Asso. He spent his life keeping secrets and apparently was held in high esteem by the few who knew his secrets. He is now long forgotten and his secrets seem less important somehow. Sort of like fresh fruit that has long since become inedible. In his day his secrets were worth their weight in gold and yet he couldn't spend that gold. Today, he is trolling the Bargain Book section looking for a spy junky or two who can see the gold.